THOUGHTS, RAMBLINGS, WHATEVS
As you guys know, generally my posts are upbeat and hopeful, even when things are going badly. Unfortunately, though, this post is going to kick off on a more somber note because I’d be seriously remiss if I didn’t talk about the recent tragedy in Florida.
Over the weekend (Jun 11-12), some homophobic asshole walked into Pulse (an Orlando, FL LGBT nightclub and safe space for LGBTQIA+ people) with an AR-15 and laid waste to the lives of over 50 people. He injured 53 more people and took hostages before he was finally gunned down by the police. Aside from the variety of historical genocides that have taken place in this country, this tragedy tops the list as the deadliest mass murder ever to have occurred in the United States. All because some dickwad fancied himself a god and rained down his hate upon a group of innocent people who merely loved, accepted, and celebrated self.
The sorrow, shock, and disgust that I, and the mass majority of decent American people, feel towards this tragedy is boundless. What’s even worse is the nastiness and vitriol pouring out of some of the anti-gay and “religious right” folks of our country. Sentiments and comments range from “no fucks given because they’re gay” to “they deserved it because they’re gay” to “this was God’s will”.
The words of these fuck boy fake Americans, to me, are even more hurtful than the tragedy itself. It shows that we still have such a long way to go in our country towards love, equality, and acceptance. It shows that we must continue to endeavor towards equals rights and SAFE, SOVEREIGN SPACES for those communities who are the most vulnerable. America is many things– some good, some bad. Still, overall and in our heart of hearts, real Americans pride ourselves on being a FREE and OPEN country, where you can say what you want, do what you want, love whom you please, and pursue your own happiness so long as it does not infringe on the freedoms and safety of others.
This tragedy had aroused both rage, compassion, and determination in those of us who seek to do good in this country. The issues that have plagued us for decades– gun violence, violence against LGBTQ+ people, and violence against vulnerable communities of color– have been ignited once more. I hope we will be able to move forward with some real policy change on the issue of gun violence and LGBTQ+ rights.
In the meantime, we must deal with today. Today our hearts, love, and prayers are with you, Orlando. We stand with you, with the victims, their families, and the survivors of this terrible and senseless tragedy. Today, and every day. So much love to you, to us all. Please go out into the world and love each other a little more. It is the only way we can combat the hate that threatens to consume our world until there is not even one ray of light left.
LOVE AND SOLIDARITY. NOT HATE.
COLBY R RICE, REBEL RAGDOLL, AND ALL MY PROPERTIES AND SUBSIDIARIES STAND IN SOLIDARITY WITH THE LGBTQIA+ COMMUNITY, AND WITH ALL VULNERABLE AND OPPRESSED COMMUNITIES OF THE WORLD.
Welp, I told you guys it was going to start off dark. BUT, now here’s some delightful light:
WE MADE IT TO TUCSON!! WOOT!!
And Tucson is pretty awesome, might I add.
The trip here actually wasn’t too bad. On the first plane ride, which was the longest, the plane was packed… EXCEPT for the row I ended up in. BRUH! So me and the little one had plenty of room. So cute, because she got to be a big girl and sit in her own seat. The second plane ride was HELL. Squished. The little boo was exhausted and angry. We were forced into the middle seat because the lady next to us stole my window seat. But she got her comeuppance when my kid threw the nastiest tantrum ever and started kicking her… LOL. #karma Should have let us have the window seat, right, lady? She was super nice, though. She helped out with Savvy a lot, and both her and the guy sitting on the other side of us were so kind, understanding, and compassionate.
Anyways, back to Tucson!
I had the amazing fortune of being greeted by my mentor and ultimate coolest person in the world. She’s been such a blessing and has really helped us to settle in. Also, because of her, I’m seeing Tucson through the eyes of a true Tusconian and lover of the city, and so I’ve come to love it too!
There are all sorts of awesome places around this town, but I have to say 4th Ave and the downtown area are pretty sweet! Especially at night. The areas are really chill and vibrant, but not suffocating, like in NYC. (I still love NYC, though, so don’t get me wrong!) Just the other day, I was introduced to an awesome restaurant called “La Indita”, which is pretty incredible. Best. Mole. EVER. Had my first chimichanga and honey fry bread there too, and it was love at first ::chomp:: !
The food in town in general is pretty badass, so that’s a pretty easy way to my heart. There’s also a boss Latin sandwich shop I’d love to give a whirl sometime very soon, and there are also some pretty flash coffee shops. Just delish dives galore! Also, Tucson is all the way up on fresh, organic, and local foods and produce. The coops and the CSAs around here are major! Tucson boasts lots of vegan and vegetarian eateries as well, and while I’ll probably never be a full time vegan, I’m absolutely psyched to add vegan foods and dishes to my diet. ExoCoffee? Urban Fresh? YUP. I’m on my way!
The city itself also has a lot of culture, history, and flavor, and it feels really artsy in many places. Lots of brilliant and bold murals, adobes, and of course, tiempo caliente. There’s a nice vibe here. Also, the U of Arizona campus is, like, INCREDIBLE and gorgeous. I’m not sure if Arizona is going to be where I put down forever-roots just yet, but for now, things are feeling pretty lovely.
So that’s Tucson.
As for me? Well, things have been kind of a crazy whirlwind since we got here. Getting groceries, supplies, running errands, and of course, watching over the little one and trying to keep her out of trouble are sort of daily must-dos… and not easy in 100 degree weather, either! But luckily we’ve had lots of help from local friends and allies, so I’m super grateful.
In the meantime, my apartment, which I LOVE by the way, currently looks like a tornado hit it, lol! When we first arrived, it was spotless, and pretty much perfect. The baby loved it and spent half the day in her diaper running around the empty space and screaming with joy. No exaggeration.
Now, though, lots of stuff has been shoved into the space, waiting to be unpacked and put away. I know it’ll be a few weeks before everything is sorted out, but ugh. The space has so much potential, and it’s such a bummer to see everything just looking cray cray right now. With time and a lot of patience, though, (and more money), I will be decorating and designing my space all throughout the summer. Yes, wine rack included, boos. My God, I can just taste the Merlot right now, next to a plate of charcuterie and complementing a delightful Game of Thrones binge… Or hell, maybe even a locally-brewed beer on the side of some delish enchiladas! MM! Possibilities await!
As for writing: in the craziness of the move, I haven’t gotten much scribing done. My word count this week was about the same as last week’s (abysmal). I honestly just didn’t fucking feel like it this week, lol. Like, there was a day that I literally, literally wrote 2 words. TWO. In a day. LOL, #cmonson.
Even when I did have some downtime, all I wanted to do was think and decompress. All this… it’s a big change, and so I needed to absorb and analyze it. I also needed to sort of figure out why all this was a big deal. I’ve started over in different states before. As Sam Smith sings in “Writing’s on the Wall”: “I’ve spent a lifetime runnin’, and I always get away.”
But this is different. This time, I have a Little Queen in tow and the ashes of a former life behind me. So that’s something. New. Terrifying. Sort of like Shogun Assassin / Lone Wolf, but with a pen instead of a sword.
Come to think of it… is there truly a difference? #amwriting #amslaying
I’m not turning back for anything, though, so fuck fear. I’m still writing my books, still planning a film trilogy, still slowly building a media f’empire, and still starting the most badass creative training ever in the baddest ass theatre program ever. And yo… U Arizona’s a fully-pimped out athletic center complete with martial arts, swordfighting, and international cooking classes!! I mean… REALLY? #heaven
So, fuck fear. Let’s do this.
Here’s what I pulled off last week, and what I hope to get poppin’ this week:
LAST WEEK’S HAUL
What I wrote: I actually managed to write 2,765 words for The Iron Maiden this week! On a normal day? That sucks ass. But this week? I feel impressed with myself because this week was basically dominated (AGAIN) by last minute packing, adulting, and, of course, the monsterous 2,500 mile move. I suspect this coming week may yield a higher word count. We’ll see!
What I edited: Nada, yo.
What I read / watched / listened to: So, unfortunately, I packed away “The Barefoot Executive” in a box that I believe won’t get shipped to my place until late August, lol. Sorry, y’all. You guys are going to have to wait until September or so for the final review on that one. So far, so good, though. I see a 3.5 star review in its future. It’s simple, straight-to-the-point, educational, and a quick read. I’m about 1/3 of the way through it, and I’m looking forward to finishing it ASAP. The last third of it looks MEGA promising.
So, in place of my lovely Barefoot Boss Lady book, I continued with the Police Procedural book. Also, in the meantime, I actually FINISHED another, super short book called “Shut the Fuck Up and Create Your Fucking Art” by Garrett Robinson and I wrote a review of it HERE. This is hilarious, because on my future blog roll and content list for The Bohemian Badass, I planned to publish a post called “Shut the Fuck Up and Make Something”. So obvs, I HAD to buy and read this book. 😀
I gave STFU & CYFA a quick 3-stars, mostly because:
- I felt this would have been better as a lengthy blog post, and,
- I felt Robinson was telling me something I already knew.
At the same time, I needed to hear this and needed this swift kick in the ass. Sometimes, I really just take myself way too fucking seriously as a writer. I just need to have some fun for a change and FINISH stuff, hell! I took his advice to heart and will certainly crack this book open every time I need someone to tell me to stop being a punk bitch and just make my fucking art already.
Also, as you guys might have already suspected, I try to do fiction and non-fiction at the same time. (Balance, ya’ll.) So I started SM Reine’s “All Hallows Moon”! I’m halfway through it, and I’ve not been disappointed. I love this story, this series, and I love this writer. It’s pretty much all I’ve been doing on my downtime in lieu of writing this week. It’s totally YA, light, adventurous, and g-pleasurable. (I don’t like saying “guilty pleasures”, as I strive not to ever feel guilty about my pleasure. Yes, innuendo intended, but it also applies to my choices in books! 😉 )
What I researched / developed: Nothing. My brain was totally off and focused on surviving the move.
THIS WEEK’S HUSTLE
What I’m writing: The Iron Maiden, obvs. But I’m itching and aching to take a break and run with some ideas I have for the ASYLUM trilogy. And the other series I have planned. Resistance is difficult, but not futile in this case.
By the way, there’s something quite rebellious about not having access to 99% of my data, including the written words for my novels. Starting fresh on a laptop that I bought for programming and gaming, not for writing, makes me feel like I have some sort of carte blanche to just write whatever, WHENever. I just wanna go wild, ya know? But I’m trying to stay disciplined and focused so I can finish this second arc for The Books of Ezekiel. “Finish what you start”, and all. You know how it is. 😉
What I’m editing: Nothing. Hell, there’s nothing to edit! It’s all trapped on my external drive, lol.
What I’m reading / watching / listening to: I’m going to continue on my “All Hallows Moon” journey and also keep chipping away at the Police Procedural book. I’ve added, like, TEN more books to my “to read” list as well. They’re all so tempting to start that it’s torture to not crack them open. But I’m staying my hand and staying the course. FOCUS.
What I’m learning: Um, I don’t have internet right now, so… to be continued at the library in July, per chance?
I’m feeling like Mars in retrograde right now. Just kind of moseying along and stuff. But making slow slow progress, lol. Anyways, that’s been my week! Exploring, experiencing, ruminating, and trying to slay fear while also getting these words down. How about you? When you faced a major life change in your life, how did your creativity see you through? How did you fight fear? I welcome all your thoughts, tips, and experiences in the comments below!
Writing on, rocking on, and forever journeying towards creative badassery,